“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” ~ Bryant H. McGill
If we truly seek to live with our hearts wide open then we must learn to forgive. Truly forgive. Forgive until not even a smidgen is left in the makeup of your cellular body. Forgive so that you need not face the same experience again and again to erase any tiny held fragments.
In this life count on being wounded, and know that it is merely the sword upon which you will sharpen your soul. Many will inflict pain upon your heart, and when they do you will have a choice. Forgive or place blame. If you choose forgiveness your journey out and away from the pain will be much less than if you choose blame.
Blame will lead you down the dark path of anger and hate and all the negativity that dwells there.
Forgiveness is really our only option if we hope to hold love in our hearts. Offer forgiveness, do it for your offender, and do it for you. For a heart that holds a grudge will carry a festering wound and that wound will have to be nursed for as long as you allow it to exist. And it will require more than just daily attending, it will need walls erected to protect it, and maintaining that fortress will exhaust your energy until one day it becomes all consuming and your focus is solely on protecting your wound and the force that caused it, until the very thing you hoped to never happen again is all you can see, and your world becomes a defensive one, and all things you experience are colored and marked by the pain you are holding on to and you will be fortifying the pain.
Sometimes the pain you will suffer will cloud all the blessings in front of you, creating for yourself a skewed perspective on the world in front of you, and making your journey away from the experience that started it all a much harder trek. You will have to climb hard and long to free yourself of the hold pain can bring, but when you climb long enough you will begin to see that the suffering you are enduring is actually self-inflicted.
Someone once said, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
The first thing we humans do when encountering pain is look to who we think caused it, and then we begin to place blame, and then comes judgement, followed by shaming, leading to the horrific forces of hate and anger.
When you find yourself wallowing in all this negativity you will not have to look far to see where it is coming from. Your struggle with pain eventually becomes your own doing, and in time, your undoing. You supposed perpetrator has moved on long ago.
We can trace all suffering back to our inability to let something go, our inability to accept what is and hold fast to our high and mighty stance of what we think is justice. But this kind of thinking will only breed more suffering and bury you in a world of negativity, until your climb out is much farther than it was before.
Lighten your load and forgive, free both yourself and the inflicting party of the past to realize what your future can hold.
Seek not to justify your pain and/or your revenge. I understand greatly now the passage, “let vengeance be mine.” It is a means to freedom and living with your heart wide open, allowing it to be full of understanding and compassion.
Choose forgiveness without having to be dragged to your knees, for it surely will. Harboring blame or ill will towards any who hurt you will direct the point of the arrow back to you again and again.
If you want to stop the pain, let go of the past and free yourself of the very wound where it exists.
There have been times in my life when I felt death would be a much easier option than living, because of the pain I held in my heart.
I knew not nor understood how to relieve myself of this pain until I sat with it so long that it nearly broke me.
I have wallowed in it, taken it to bed, woken up with it, and even tried wearing it as a shield, yet still the pain stayed and invited with it its friends anger, hate, jealousy, blame, shame, and eventually guilt.
It was only with much deep reflection that I realized I held the salve all along. It took years for me to understand that I, and only I, held the one thing that would stop the pain and heal the wound, and that one thing is forgiveness.
In order to take the dagger out of my own heart, I had to first take the dagger out of the one I held it in, the one I believed had wronged me.
Forgiveness is such a simple thing to do, but far from easy. Mahatma Gandhi so brilliantly and compassionately shared with us, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
We will be tried a thousand times over in this lifetime before we master forgiveness.
We will meet experience after experience until we can offer up forgiveness with no resistance. And when that time comes our walk here on this earth will be much easier and we will change our future terrain.
Copyright 2017 Melody White. All Rights Reserved.