Surrendering to a Higher Power

One of the greatest things I have had to learn to not only survive the difficult parts of life, but to thrive in life and move through and forward, is to surrender the things beyond my control to a Higher Power. Not only is it so freeing, but it has become essential for me to really live with my heart wide open.

We only have control of two things in life, and that is our own actions and thoughts and how we respond to someone else’s actions and thoughts.  Once we have done everything in our power to do and be, we must relinquish control, and believe that the universe and the powers that be will handle it from here.  This is a very simple concept, but it is not an easy one as long as we are ruled by the nature of our ego and not the love in our hearts.

We have a perception of how we want life to go, and it is sometimes difficult to let go of the reins and believe that what is meant to happen and meant to be, will happen and will be. And because of this, we try very hard to control the things around us in order to have the outcome we want.  The problem here is that our view of things is limited to what we know, what we understand, and is often very clouded by what we want and desire.

I have personally experienced not letting go of the reins and watched life hand me what it could, based upon my continual input and struggle with what I saw as the right thing. I limited myself in many ways from allowing God, or the powers that be, to give me what would really be best for me.

When we try to control everything, we negate the many great and wonderful options that could be. Limited by our mind, our beliefs, and what we as humans can see and understand, our options are made narrow, and we circumvent the many options that could be.

We know what we know.  Whereas God, the universe and all the powers that be, know all truths, have all understandings, and given the chance they will pour upon us all things best for us if we can step out of the way.

I watched an old HGTV show one time, where a woman had a very large basement and she was given the opportunity to have someone come and create a space in her basement for the things she said she wanted, a great living space for family and friends, a nice workout area, and a nice extra bedroom for guests.  Her basement was full of all kind of things she had not been able to part with but hadn’t used in a long time.  As the design and construction team came to give her what she wanted, she was unable to part with what she had, and in the end what she got was a ton of shelving for things she didn’t use anymore and a tiny space with a sofa, coffee table, and a small workout machine in it.  She limited herself and all the things she could have gotten by her inability to let go of the things she thought she had to keep.

Now I know this was a show literally about material things, but it made me wonder how many times in my life I had limited myself by what I could have had because I had to hold onto to what I knew and what I thought I had to have or wanted. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and most of our struggles come from our inability to accept what is and step out of the way of what could be.

I remember the first time I was dragged to my knees by life and how I fought with it to give me what I wanted, what I thought should be based on what I knew and understood.  It was a long and brutal battle that took many many years to give up.  When I finally gave it up and accepted what was, life came in and gave me something entirely different than I had been wanting and it was so good that I cried many times, not because I had it, but because I hadn’t gotten it sooner so I could have lived with it longer.  My holding on to what I understood, to what I thought I wanted, prevented what could have been from coming a lot sooner.

I know some people who are masters at letting go and accepting what is.  They move through life with ease as they place no restrictions and no resistance to what is trying to come next.  These people are not people with easy lives free of difficulties and pain.  They are people who do not push against the flow of life.  Change is our one constant.  It is going to happen. Our ability to adapt to, accept, do what we can and allow a Higher Power to handle the big picture allows our lives to be richer, fuller, and free of a lot of pain. We can gain a lot more enjoyment out of our lives if we can believe and allow the powers that be to support us, comfort us and provide us with options beyond our limited sight.

Copyright 2017 Melody White. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

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Love Continues

The holidays are fast approaching and many of us will face them without the ones we love, be it spouses, parents, siblings, our children, our grandchildren, or our best friends.  I remember the first time I lost someone very close to me, and the very difficult challenge of living daily without them.  I felt and still feel with some of the losses, that I relive the pain of their leaving everyday.

There are so many who have faced greater loss than I have, and it almost makes me feel guilty to share mine, but to not share is to turn away from my heart, and I have never been one to be able to do that.  I am a believer of a heart directed life, knowing that it is truly the center of all things.

Love is the most powerful force on earth and is a living thing born of our hearts and has no end.  Love is a continuum and never ever dies, not real love, not true love, it just keeps going and going and going.  Anything less would not be authentic.  How we meet it, how we care for it, matters greatly.

I have loved big and much in my life, and I have lived through losing the object of my love many times, and not once has the love ceased to continue, and I think therein lies the struggle.  Where do we put all the love we have when what we love is gone from our lives? 

I know for me shutting it down does not work, as I would have to close off pieces of my heart for that to happen, and my current stance on life and our ability to not just survive it, but to thrive in it, is to live with our hearts wide open.

Love is associated with the element air, and when we love, and when we are in love, we feel like we are walking on air, it is a state of nirvana, pure bliss.  Nothing on earth feels as good as love does.  When we lose the object of our love, we struggle with where to put all the love.  Sometimes we try to drink it away, eat it away, smoke it away, run it away, work it away, but the results are poor.

For those who have lost their loved ones to death, it feels so final, so helpless.  Those who lose their loved ones to another or to other circumstances have a different battle. They live with the inability to share their love with that person knowing that that person is still here, and they are held in a different kind of struggle.

I have watched people and myself try to place that love into projects, to keep that love alive in some way.   And I think it helps place our energy in a better place, but the void remains, a big gaping hole in our heart where they use to exist.

I understand that love never dies, and I don’t have an answer to my question, but I do have a strong belief in the existence of a higher power who is the great and grand orchestrator of life.  I also know that my acceptance of what is, is crucial to living more fully and peacefully, regardless of my sometimes failing attempts.

I send prayers of light and love to all who are facing life without their loved ones. May we reach out to one another with all the accumulated love that we have been holding onto and try to heal the wounds that be.

Copyright 2017 Melody White. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Forgiveness

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“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” ~ Bryant H. McGill

If we truly seek to live with our hearts wide open then we must learn to forgive. Truly forgive. Forgive until not even a smidgen is left in the makeup of your cellular body.  Forgive so that you need not face the same experience again and again to erase any tiny held fragments.

In this life count on being wounded, and know that it is merely the sword upon which you will sharpen your soul.  Many will inflict pain upon your heart, and when they do you will have a choice.  Forgive or place blame.  If you choose forgiveness your journey out and away from the pain will be much less than if you choose blame.

Blame will lead you down the dark path of anger and hate and all the negativity that dwells there.

Forgiveness is really our only option if we hope to hold love in our hearts.  Offer forgiveness, do it for your offender, and do it for you.  For a heart that holds a grudge will carry a festering wound and that wound will have to be nursed for as long as you allow it to exist.  And it will require more than just daily attending, it will need walls erected to protect it, and maintaining that fortress will exhaust your energy until one day it becomes all consuming and your focus is solely on protecting your wound and the force that caused it, until the very thing you hoped to never happen again is all you can see, and your world becomes a defensive one, and all things you experience are colored and marked by the pain you are holding on to and you will be fortifying the pain.

Sometimes the pain you will suffer will cloud all the blessings in front of you, creating for yourself a skewed perspective on the world in front of you, and making your journey away from the experience that started it all a much harder trek.  You will have to climb hard and long to free yourself of the hold pain can bring, but when you climb long enough you will begin to see that the suffering you are enduring is actually self-inflicted.

Someone once said, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

The first thing we humans do when encountering pain is look to who we think caused it, and then we begin to place blame, and then comes judgement, followed by shaming, leading to the horrific forces of hate and anger.

When you find yourself wallowing in all this negativity you will not have to look far to see where it is coming from. Your struggle with pain eventually becomes your own doing, and in time, your undoing.  You supposed perpetrator has moved on long ago.

We can trace all suffering back to our inability to let something go, our inability to accept what is and hold fast to our high and mighty stance of what we think is justice.  But this kind of thinking will only breed more suffering and bury you in a world of negativity, until your climb out is much farther than it was before.

Lighten your load and forgive, free both yourself and the inflicting party of the past to realize what your future can hold.

Seek not to justify your pain and/or your revenge.  I understand greatly now the passage, “let vengeance be mine.”  It is a means to freedom and living with your heart wide open, allowing it to be full of understanding and compassion.

Choose forgiveness without having to be dragged to your knees, for it surely will.  Harboring blame or ill will towards any who hurt you will direct the point of the arrow back to you again and again.

If you want to stop the pain, let go of the past and free yourself of the very wound where it exists.

There have been times in my life when I felt death would be a much easier option than living, because of the pain I held in my heart.

I knew not nor understood how to relieve myself of this pain until I sat with it so long that it nearly broke me.

I have wallowed in it, taken it to bed, woken up with it, and even tried wearing it as a shield, yet still the pain stayed and invited with it its friends anger, hate, jealousy, blame, shame, and eventually guilt.

It was only with much deep reflection that I realized I held the salve all along.  It took years for me to understand that I, and only I, held the one thing that would stop the pain and heal the wound, and that one thing is forgiveness.

In order to take the dagger out of my own heart, I had to first take the dagger out of the one I held it in, the one I believed had wronged me.

Forgiveness is such a simple thing to do, but far from easy.  Mahatma Gandhi so brilliantly and compassionately shared with us, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

We will be tried a thousand times over in this lifetime before we master forgiveness.

We will meet experience after experience until we can offer up forgiveness with no resistance.  And when that time comes our walk here on this earth will be much easier and we will change our future terrain.

Copyright 2017 Melody White. All Rights Reserved.

Forgiveness

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” ~ Bryant H. McGill

If we truly seek to live with our hearts wide open then we must learn to forgive. Truly forgive. Forgive until not even a smidgen is left in the makeup of your cellular body.  Forgive so that you need not face the same experience again and again to erase any tiny held fragments.

In this life count on being wounded, and know that it is merely the sword upon which you will sharpen your soul.  Many will inflict pain upon your heart, and when they do you will have a choice.  Forgive or place blame.  If you choose forgiveness your journey out and away from the pain will be much less than if you choose blame.

Blame will lead you down the dark path of anger and hate and all the negativity that dwells there.

Forgiveness is really our only option if we hope to hold love in our hearts.  Offer forgiveness, do it for your offender, and do it for you.  For a heart that holds a grudge will carry a festering wound and that wound will have to be nursed for as long as you allow it to exist.  And it will require more than just daily attending, it will need walls erected to protect it, and maintaining that fortress will exhaust your energy until one day it becomes all-consuming and your focus is solely on protecting your wound and the force that caused it, until the very thing you hoped to never happen again is all you can see, and your world becomes a defensive one, and all things you experience are colored and marked by the pain you are holding onto and you will be fortifying the pain.

Sometimes the pain you will suffer will cloud all the blessings in front of you, creating for yourself a skewed perspective on the world in front of you, and making your journey away from the experience that started it all a much harder trek.  You will have to climb hard and long to free yourself of the hold pain can bring, but when you climb long enough you will begin to see that the suffering you are enduring is actually self-inflicted.

Someone once said, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

The first thing we humans do when encountering pain is look to who we think caused it, and then we begin to place blame, and then comes judgement, followed by shaming, leading to the horrific forces of hate and anger.

When you find yourself wallowing in all this negativity you will not have to look far to see where it is coming from. Your struggle with pain eventually becomes you own doing, and in time, your undoing.  You supposed perpetrator has moved on long ago.

We can trace all suffering back to our inability to let something go, our inability to accept what is and hold fast to our high and mighty stance of what we think is justice.  But this kind of thinking will only breed more suffering and bury you in a world of negativity, until your climb out is much farther than it was before.

Lighten your load and forgive, free both yourself and the inflicting party of the past to realize what your future can hold.

Seek not to justify your pain and/or your revenge.  I understand greatly now the passage, “let vengeance be mine.”  It is a means to freedom and living with your heart wide open, allowing it to be full of understanding and compassion.

Choose forgiveness without having to be dragged to your knees, for it surely will.  Harboring blame or ill will towards any who hurt you will direct the point of the arrow back to you again and again.

If you want to stop the pain, let go of the past and free yourself of the very wound where it exists.

There have been times in my life when I felt death would be a much easier option than living, because of the pain I held in my heart.

I knew not nor understood how to relieve myself of this pain until I sat with it so long that it nearly broke me.

I have wallowed in it, taken it to bed, woken up with it, and even tried wearing it as a shield, yet still the pain stayed and invited with it its friends anger, hate, jealousy, blame, shame, and eventually guilt.

It was only with much deep reflection that I realized I held the salve all along.  It took years for me to understand that I, and only I, held the one thing that would stop the pain and heal the wound, and that one thing is forgiveness.

In order to take the dagger out of my own heart, I had to first take the dagger out of the one I held it in, the one I believed had wronged me.

Forgiveness is such a simple thing to do, but far from easy.  Mahatma Ghandhi so brilliantly and compassionately shared with us, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

We will be tried a thousand times over in this lifetime before we master forgiveness.

We will meet experience after experience until we can offer up forgiveness with no resistance.  And when that time comes our walk here on this earth will be much easier and we will change our future terrain.

Copyright 2017 Melody White. All Rights Reserved.

Knocking Down the Fort

The Heart is the most resilient of all things on earth.  It can be broken a million times over and repair itself a million times over, because it houses the most powerful energy in all the world – love.

When hurt and wounded, the owner of the heart ultimately has only one choice, but may take many lifetimes to surrender to that fact.  More often than not, when wounded the owner of the heart seals off the broken piece and allows the wound to fester and infect the whole being.

This, in turn, switches the chief operating force of love off and switches on the operating force of fear, and there lies the birthplace of the many afflictions of the world – hate, anger, jealousy, and the most callous enemy of all, indifference.

The carrier of such a heart then repeats the same experiences that caused the switch to flip in the first place, seeking to set itself right. It, the heart, will endure all that is necessary to change this and reestablish love as its director.

Pain is a hard thing to sit with, and pain of the heart, the most brutal. We humans will do just about anything to avoid the afflictions, and run hard to outpace the pain.

crumbling stone wall

We work hard building a fortress to protect the heart from what initially gave the first hit, thereby placing in motion the energy field that will continue to bring about experiences that will try and knock the fort down and allow the wound to heal.

For many of us, we are unaware that we have done all this construction, as the very humanness of us causes us to do so.

We build the fort and are on the lookout for any incoming attempt for such a pain to dare come again, never realizing the very act of erecting such a thing literally invites similar experiences back, and hoping that this time, the human will choose differently and allow the heart to remain open to the pain so that it can heal.

To stay open to pain requires a mighty warrior, one who will allow love to stay in place and not close off any pieces in order to protect the heart.

Now that I have come through over a half a century of living, I understand more fully what it means to live with your Heart Wide Open.  I am far from being fully there, but I can at least appreciate and be grateful for the awareness to try and do so.

Copyright 2017 Melody White. All Rights Reserved.